The Emotional Impact of Frequent Relocation on Children: Understanding the Hidden Toll

Picture a life where every few months mean waking up in a new city or country, having to switch schools in the middle of the year, saying goodbye to friends just as bonds start to form, and living in a constant state of uncertainty about the next move. For many children from globally mobile families or those in foster care systems, this isn't just a hypothetical scenario - it's their reality.

While frequent relocation may seem glamorous at first glance, for children it often brings about deep emotional struggles that can leave lasting scars. From anxiety and loneliness to anger and difficulty managing emotions, these children bear hidden burdens stemming from a lack of control, stability, and security.

In this piece, we delve into the emotional challenges faced by children who undergo frequent relocations, whether due to their parents' careers or the instability of foster care. We explore how these constant changes impact their mental well-being, behavior, and sense of self. 

The Ever-Changing Landscape 

Children of Mobile Families Worldwide

There are countless children across the globe who are being raised in families that are constantly on the move, whether internationally or nationally. These families can include:

- Diplomatic or military families

- NGO workers and those involved in humanitarian efforts

- Corporate executives who frequently relocate

- Artists, athletes, and performers who travel extensively

- Seasonal or migrant workers

Known as Third Culture Kids (TCKs), these children grow up with a global perspective, exposed to a diverse array of languages, cultures, and traditions. While this exposure can be incredibly enriching, it also brings feelings of disconnection, sadness, and a struggle to understand their own identity.

As stated by Pollock and Van Reken in their book Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds, these TCKs often form bonds with people and places that are constantly in flux. This ever-changing sense of attachment can leave them feeling adrift and unsettled, with the entire world as their potential home, yet no place feeling truly like 

Children in Foster or Residential Care

Children in foster or residential care experience a heightened level of instability, constantly moving homes and changing caregivers without notice. This lack of stability can lead to anxiety, anticipatory fear, and difficulty forming lasting attachments. The emotional toll of this transience is profound, impacting their mental and physical 

The Emotional Impact: Living in a Shifting Reality

Anxiety and Anticipatory Fear

Children experiencing frequent relocations often face anxiety and anticipatory fear due to the uncertainty of their surroundings. This can lead to symptoms such as nightmares, obsessions about the future, physical complaints, and avoidance of new relationships or environments. It's not just simple anxiety; it's a response of their nervous system to an unpredictable world.

Isolation and Disconnection

Additionally, this constant upheaval can result in isolation and disconnection for children. With each move comes a new school, new classroom, and new faces, leaving them without the sense of familiarity and belonging that comes with deep friendships and community bonds. As a result, they may struggle to invest in relationships, unsure if they will be uprooted once again. 

Understanding Anger and Behavioral Outbursts in Children

Children who experience frequent changes in their living situation are often unfairly labeled as disruptive, rude, or oppositional. However, these behaviors are often a result of underlying grief, fear, or frustration.

When a child feels a lack of control over major aspects of their life, such as their home, caregivers, or school, they may exhibit outbursts, defiance, or withdrawal as a way to seek control.

Unprocessed grief may manifest as tantrums, anxiety as refusal, and fear as aggression. Without a trauma-informed approach, these behaviors can be misinterpreted and lead to inappropriate consequences or misdiagnoses.

Emotional dysregulation is common in children facing constant changes in routines and caregivers. Without stable emotional support, children may struggle to calm themselves, experience rapid shifts in emotions, and overreact to minor 

The importance of control in child development

One key aspect of many challenges faced by children is the basic need for a sense of control in order to feel secure. According to self-determination theory (Deci & Ryan, 1985), it is essential for children to have their autonomy, competence, and relatedness needs met for healthy development. However, frequent relocation can disrupt these needs.

Autonomy is compromised when children have no say in their living arrangements or when they have to move unexpectedly. Constantly changing schools and environments can make children feel inadequate, affecting their sense of competence. 

Additionally, disrupted relationships prevent deep connections from forming, hindering their sense of relatedness. This can lead to learned helplessness, where children begin to feel like their actions have no impact, ultimately leading to lowered confidence, withdrawal, depression, or defiance.

Furthermore, Erik Erikson's theory of psychosocial development emphasizes the importance of stability in identity development during childhood and adolescence. When children face constant upheaval and instability, it can hinder their ability to form a strong sense of identity and lead to role confusion." 

Tips for Creating Stability and Safety

1. Establish Micro-Stability

In times of uncertainty, focus on creating stability in the little things like:

- Bedtime routines

- Morning rituals

- Shared meals

- Weekly family movie nights

- A special blanket or toy for comfort

These small rituals help soothe a child's nervous system and provide a sense of predictability in an unpredictable world.

2. Prioritize Connection Over Correction

When a child is acting out, try to understand their needs and emotions first. Ask yourself:

- What might they be lacking or seeking?

- What message is their behavior conveying?

Building strong, empathetic relationships is key in comforting children in distress. Maintaining eye contact, physical closeness, and consistency reassures them that they are safe and 

3. Encourage Emotional Expression

It is important for children to be able to identify and express their emotions, even if they struggle to find the right words. Support them by using tools like emotion cards, drawing or journaling, role-playing with toys, and reading storybooks about change and loss. Validate their feelings and let them know that it is okay to feel sad or upset without rushing them to see the positive side too soon.

4. Prepare for Transitions with Visuals and Communication

Before a move, help the child prepare by showing them photos of the new home or school, creating a plan for saying goodbye to their current surroundings, and making a transition book with timelines and familiar faces. Let the child participate in packing and choosing what belongings to keep close to them.

5. Collaborate with Schools and Professionals

Work with educators, social workers, and therapists to ensure that the child receives the support they need during transitions. Make sure that teachers are aware of recent moves and advocate for flexible deadlines, social-emotional support groups, trauma-informed responses to behavior, and continuity of services like speech therapy, occupational therapists, physiotherapist. 

Final Thoughts: Children are Struggling and Trying their Best

Children who are constantly on the move due to their parents' work or shifting between foster homes face unseen emotional challenges.

They may not have the words to express their feelings, but their actions speak volumes.

Each tantrum, withdrawal, or refusal to engage is a cry for help.

It's time to listen.

Let's offer these children compassion, understanding, and the resources they need to feel safe and respected.

Let's provide them with something they've been lacking: a stable and empathetic environment.

If you need assistance, reach out for support. 

Family Organisation offers:

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All content is designed with clinical insight and a deep respect for children’s emotional worlds. Whether you’re a parent, carer, teacher, or professional, you’re welcome here.

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Disclaimer:

If you are concerned about your child’s emotional or behavioural wellbeing, please consult a qualified mental health or medical professional. This article is intended for informational support and is not a substitute for individual assessment or diagnosis.